Laura and Stephanie

Top photo is Stephanie on the left with Singer Sara Barelles
Bottom Photo is Laura



Any time one is elected to public office, you expect a lot of scrutiny. You are always on the job and people come up to you all the time to ask questions, to set up appointments, etc. It doesn’t matter if you are at dinner, in a hospital visiting someone, at a ball game, or sitting on your back deck. This is part of public office and it is accepted for the most part. Whenever people see you, they generally have an opinion or a problem and you have to realize that this is the most important thing on people’s minds when they approach you and need to be empathetic. Some of my best conversations have been at the local dump, er, landfill, no wait, transfer station. This is a part of public life.

However, most people don’t realize that when you run for office, the whole family becomes involved. Political life changes the family dynamic dramatically and the whole family is “on the job” in many ways. I never talk about the family as I have always thought that they deserve to stay out of the public spotlight and have a reasonable expectation to some privacy. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t important and aren’t part of the services that constituents receive. So this is a shout out to the families that participate in politics and government even though they didn’t run and aren’t paid for the service they provide.

Laura and I have been married for twenty seven years. I wasn’t in politics when we married, but she knew my interest in all things political. Still, it is quite a jump from interest to running and shortly after we were married, I became a city councilor in North Adams and then became the state representative a few years later. She has been an active participant ever since. The life of a political spouse is interesting, but it affects everything. I can’t tell you the number of times over the past twenty three years that I have come home and said, “Oh I don’t know if I told you, but this weekend we have to go to…”. And every year Laura has to march in the fall Foliage Parade (although I am concerned that she usually gets a bigger hand than I do). There are campaign events and Laura has planned countless cook outs and get togethers. She is the practical voice of advice and has to listen to me when I come home either frustrated or angry about the events of the day. While I am in the State House in Boston, Laura is back in the district. She is the one stopped in the supermarket by people asking for appointments or advice. She is the one who has to handle all the things around the house while I am gone, and she was the one who was always here for Stephanie as our daughter grew up. She handled phone calls and attended events with no complaints. She is far more practical than I am and gives me advice that keeps me focused and grounded as I go off in the many different directions that our jobs send us into. She’s the one who remembers most of the names! The hours of any elected official are varied and I am at events in the evening and on weekends and other times that many think of as family time. This can be tough and she has been a great partner through it all. She has been supportive and I know that she has sacrificed her ambitions so that I can pursue the career I have. I would be far less effective if she weren’t there for me.

My daughter Stephanie was born after I was elected, so this is the only job she has known me to have. Stephanie turned twenty one this year and has grown into a responsible wonderful adult. A senior at UMass Amherst and a member of the incredible Marching Band, she also has grown up differently because of my job. Some of it is funny. She once told then Gov. Jane Swift (who she has known all her life) that she wanted to run for my seat. The Governor told her that she would write the first check to her. She told me one day that she had a slogan for when she ran for my seat. She said it was “It’s time for a change, elect a new Bosley”! My daughter accompanied me to a dinner that I was emceeing one night and Jane Swift asked her how she liked it. Stephanie, about 10 at the time said it was good except when I got up to speak, then it was “blah blah blah”. Everyone’ s a critic. One day after she got her license, Laura sat her down and said that she should be careful on the road and watch out for other drivers. She then went on to say that if she got in an accident or was speeding, it would reflect on her father! So she has lived in that spotlight. One aspect of this is that she has always been very politically aware. She ran for class office in school, was elected to Girl’s State, participated in People to People and has been politically active in several campaigns. Last year we knocked on doors together in New Hampshire during the Presidential election. She has work study at the Donahue Institute at UMass and last year stayed there to help with a foreign exchange program with officials predominantly form Argentina. She had an internship last semester in Washington working for a nonprofit and is looking at an MSW so that she can continue to stay active. And she is a great political advisor to her dad. In many ways, she has become the one I go to on issues. She is sharp and cuts to the point very quickly. She is far more politically aware than many her age and I feel that she will make a name for herself in the future.

I have been thinking about this lately. No one makes someone run for office and no one keeps us there. I think I do a pretty good job, but it does take away from our families. I don’t see my mother, sister or brother anywhere near as often as I would like, and I spend a lot of time away from my district that I care very much for. I do this because I love my job, but the family gets caught up in this without placing their names on the ballot and they are the real unsung heroes in the jobs that the elected officials do. All we can do is thank them and let them know how much we love them for being there for us.